Sunday, March 28, 2010

earth hour?



Earth Hour this year was not so fun compare to last year. i celebrated the day with Khairiah, and we had fun although there was just the 2 of us. running with our cams and phones, snapping pics and screamed like crazy people. ha ha ha. luckily KML supported the earth hour, except for mak cik cafe yg sangat kedekut. huh! i am having my final revise for my mid sem exam so i can't put off my light for long. but, actually i did, hehe. and i went to my friend's room for hour (40 mins to be exact). huh... my my my... i hate exams. but it's the only way we can show that we understand every little thing the lecturer taught in class. is it really the only way???

what a moron new standard the college introduced! if failed any subject, have to sit for viva. if got an A, excellent like hell still need to sit for viva!!!!
my gosh! IF I NEEDED TO SIT FOR IT (IN THIS CASE I HOPE I GOT A), I WANT THE COLLEGE TO PAY FOR MY FLIGHT'S FARE!!! the nearest place to sit for viva ------> KUCHING.
sot!!!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

i love and hate u.

i love u for all the things that we have done together.
i love u for every word u have spoken to me.
i love u for being such a lovely person to me.
i love u for being so nice with me.
i love u for always smiling to me.
i love u for always tell me the truth.
i love u for let me hold u for a moment.
i love u for being a caring person to me...( r u? )
i love u for making me smile the whole day.
i love it how u brighten my day just by a "Good Morning" message.
i love u for making my heart beats faster every time u came near me.
i love u for making me loving u so much.
i hate u for making me feel like i was ur special one.
i hate u for being so far from me.
i hate u for making me cry.
i hate u for breaking my heart.
i hate u for making me feel like i was the only one.
i hate u for ever playing with my heart.
i hate u for never being there for me.
i hate u for making me sleep "silentless" every night.
i hate it when u'r looking into my eyes and i can't do the same.
i hate it when u'r looking for me but u never really mean it.
i hate it when u r the first thing came into my mind when i woke up every morning and the last thing when i'm going to sleep.
i hate it coz i never stop thinking about u every second.
i hate u for making me missing u.
i hate it so much than u can ever imagine.
but still, above all this, u r the one who makes my life once feel completed.
thanks for all the memories, those short but meaningful moments we had together.
i guess it's really time to say "good bye", and no more "see u later."
remember darl, i let u go because i am so deeply in love with u.
people might not understand this, but as long as we know what the truth really is, nothing else matter.
take good care. i love u.

exam~fun~sad

i hate staying up late till morning to study but this is what i have been doing for the past 7 years ago. my head is really "tepu" already with all that organic chemistry, food technology, water supplement, microbiology and whatsoever. ahh! sometimes i really feel that i can't do it and feel like wanna give up, coz it so damn hard for me (imagine those who take medic course, i think i'll die faster if i'm one of them). maybe it's not so hard, but, but, but, i'm a last minute person. shit shit shit when i am going to change.

just now, am having fun with my buddies, we went to screamed our lungs out (whatever this mean), actually we went to karaoke ----> more like kbox, but it's a room with comfortable couch but the worst thing is no liquor and can't smoking. ha ha ha! uh! after all we were having fun, at least.

am currently deactivated my facebook account.
i hope that person happy.
later on when i get to see ur profile again, i'll block u my dear.
u'r sux my "baby boo".

omgwtfbbq my english is really terrible, horrible and vegetable!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

~Only Love~

It's a cold February night. People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm.

It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots. Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people. Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?

"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy." One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief. "Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!"

"You are fortunate." Another nurse says. "Some people don't have anyone waiting for them."

"You mean Dr. Shu?"
Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name.
"Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?"
"Of course I do." A nurse shudders. "I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."
They are talking about how I was last year. They are correct. I was out of control, like they said.
"You can't blame Dr. Shu. If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well."
"Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you."
The two nurses are too late. I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall.
"Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"

Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me. I awkwardly step out. The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush. Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates.

"I'm waiting to go home." I pretend that I didn't hear anything.
"Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work. It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!" She waves goodbye.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.

That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway. Even though no lover is waiting
for me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.

After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat. I forgot when I first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day. At that time, I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair. Cats don't cry, I do. That's the only difference.

"Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you." I threatened the cat. Her name is Christine, my least favorite English name. I don't know why I named the cat Christine. Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me, but her eyes are complaining about my severity. Her eyes remind me of someone I used to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.

An year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him.

"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone."

"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his tone.

"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."

E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is. "You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't use any romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.

"I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day??" He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight with him again.

"You are not romantic at all!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?"

"Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel."

"Your life is so boring." I made a face at him. "One recent drama was really good. You should have watched it."

"What's that drama called?" He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV and movies. He always thought they were lies.

"It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered.

"What kind of trashy plot did it have?"

"What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry. "That drama was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called 'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri." I wonder if he knew who Nana was.

"Nana, I know her. A Greek singer with really expensive albums."

"Her voice is worth it." Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't bring myself to admit it.

"Whatever." He glanced at his watch. "I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the plot. After that, I'm leaving."

I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes. The drama portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years, from 1901 to 2000. Each generation was portrayed by the same actress. The story was tear-jerking.

"What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story.

"Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a screenwriter."

"If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV station can go out of business." He quickly interjected.

"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!" I was so mad that I went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee.

As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online.

Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that happened, he would always come over to tease me.

"Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you smile." In other words, I'm really ugly.

"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit me??"

"Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued.

"Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.

That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class.

"You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us.

"We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him.
"My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It's not like I don't have eyes."

"Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him. "Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.

I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms.

"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other.

Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would
not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.

Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors. We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom. Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other. We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together. After graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger
apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other. In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints.

Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone.

"Hello." He picked up the phone.

"I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure.

"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it."

He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again."

"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each other?

"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.

I'll eat dinner by myself."

"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."

"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for??

I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work.

Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument.

"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."

As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney.

"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood.

"Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die."

I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped

"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't lose our calm.

But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!

"No..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.

I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my lover. Even though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love. I still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die! I threw away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with his silence.

Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my mouth.

"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced them.

"He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.

"Dr. Shu, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand what you're going through, but you're a doctor."

Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card. "I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to knock the life back into his body.

"Take her away!" That day, I lost my control and my professionalism.

And that day happened to be Valentine's Day.

Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day.

They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several times but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me and got hit by a large truck on the way.

When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish.

Like an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore. After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore.

Now, I'm only left with a cat and a seldomly used computer. Stepping over the cat, I turned on the computer. Even though I know no one will send me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day.

Meow, meow. I looked at Christine to see what's wrong. She finished her milk. I went into the kitchen to get her more milk then came back to look at the computer screen.

I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100 junk mail?

I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail, and this one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until today.

We apologize for the delay." The sender was my ISP.

I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have sent these?

With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to play.... "Only Love". I couldn't believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy. I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most touching of all were the words underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful poem.

"Hwei."

That's my name.

"Knowing you so many years, I've never sent you any flowers. Today I send you a rose."

I received it and it's so beautiful.

"You know we are always fighting. We can never really open our hearts and tell each other how we feel."

Yes, but it's all your fault for being so distant.

"I know I always make you mad by the things I say."

Good that you're admitting it.

"But today I want to say to you: I'm sorry, and I love you."

I waited so many years for those words.

"And I want to tell you a good news. I finally saved enough money."

You already have enough money. Why did you need so much?

"So Hwei, let's get married!! I was afraid to propose to you, because I didn't trust in my ability to give you the good life you deserve. But now I've saved enough money so we don't have to wait anymore."

Who wanted you to wait? I'm already yours.
"Today, I use this card to propose to you. Will you marry me, Hwei? Will you?"

That's the content of the whole card. Like a fool, I kept reading his words and talking to him. It's like I can hear his voice and see him again.

As if it's back to 1 year ago with us constantly fighting.

The song played over and over. Repeating Nana's heartbreaking voice.

Only love can make a memory. Only love can make a moment last. You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung. and I remember you then when love was all, all you were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."

The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and coldness that will never go away.

"Will you marry me?"

When I read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard.

Will I? If he's in front of me, I will definitely kick him and call him a big fool. If I wasn't willing, I wouldn't have waited until today.

So I moved the cursor over the "Reply" box, and typed the response that I've already prepared for so many years - "I will."

I will - be by his side for the rest of my life. I will - fight with him forever. That is how I answered him, but the only response I got was the repeating song "Only Love."

Nevertheless, I opened every single letter, accepted every singled rose, and typed the same response: "I will."

I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for 1 year finally got reconnected.

I answered you. What about you?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

i'm glad 4 u.

am checking my fb just now.

guess what?

his status: in a relationship

and i click on "Like".

Monday, March 15, 2010

i still care

there's nothing much to be updated. am currently fixing and updating my background and whatsoever coz it looks dull and terrible. i went to church yesterday, and had my confession. wao. guess am a free sinner right now. just kidding. by the way, while am in church, i prayed to God that He will help me to fix my broken relationship with a friend of mine, whom i miss so much. we used to best friends, we used to be sisters but now, nothing is the same like before. everything's change. her attitude towards me make me feels like have-i-done-something-bitchy and i feel uncomfortable. yaikss...i am thinking do i really need a friend like this? but i really miss the times that we've spent together. my my my... i can't afford to lose this friend. no. not her. we used to take care of each other since high school, and maybe not everyone likes our friendship. stupid, stupid and behind the time of moron's people. whatever it is, i pray to God that someday she will accept me as her friend again. =)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

i'm missing u~~~~~

You made me cry...

You tore me apart..

You left me in tears..

You've shattered my heart..



It wasn't your fault..

I guess it was me..

for love can't be forced..

Perhaps we weren't meant to be..



It still doesn't help..

now that i know..

Because for some reason..

my heart won't let go..



I've tried more than once..

to get over you..

but you make it so hard..

with cute things you do..



I thought love was joy..

but i've got nothing to gain..

just sorrows..,tears..

and a little more pain..



The day the pain started ..

reality came too..

It was the day i realized ..



I'LL NEVER BE WITH YOU.

~A Boy's Love~

A good reminder: "Take time to appreciate what you have now." --Dont miss reading this one

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the
remaining of the gift I didn't manage to buy earlier.

When I saw all the people there, I started to complain tomyself,"It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go.
Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year.How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..."

Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really pla ywith such expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"

The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear."

Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to give this doll to.
"It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly.

"No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this.

"My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."
My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me."

I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.I quickly reached
for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we checked
again, just in case if you have enough money?"

"Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough."

I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it.
There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money.

The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money."

Then he looked at me and added,
"I asked yesterday before I slept for God to
make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me."
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose."

"You know, my mummy loves white rose."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley. I
finished my shopping in a totally
different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my
mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rosein her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to that day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.

~a friend that will always be remembered~















i just read one of my friend's blog. and it's making me sad for a moment. coz i'm also miss the same person. even though i know him not for long, but the moments we spent almost a year (well maybe we rarely seeing each other because of our different time of classes but we always have lunch together especially on friday) make me really felt the empty space that he left. when i first know he was in a critical condition, i was informed by my cousin. and i said to myself "He is strong. he could make it. i believe he will." and so, i didn't expect anything bad will happen that day. i was sitting for my exam that night, when one of my friend called me. i couldn't reach for my phone. and i just thought maybe this friend misses me. not long, i received a message, saying that he's already gone to see God. i couldn't believe my eyes. my heart was pounding so hard, i can heard its beating, and i almost faint. God... i'm blaming God that time, i wish this was just a dream. i slap my face over and over again and said this is not real. i didn't score well in my exam that night, but i didn't blame him. i was crying through the night, thinking of how God can took someone's life without telling us first?? maybe i'm a bit crazy that time, i know i'm not supposed to think like that. huhu... imagine how his families, childhood's friends, ex classmates and whom know him for a long time, my sadness cannot be compared to them. if i'm already felt like this, then how about them? i wish i could talk to him longer if i knew this would happen. the last time i heard his voice was on the last June of 2009, he called me and happily told me he got into U. but nobody wants this. nobody expects this. it's just one of God's plan. idk what is His plan, but i'm pretty sure right now that He knows what He's been doing. i shouldn't even questioned His mighty power. i can't. we will always remember him. guys, don't worry. he's having a better life up there right now.

(p/s: i will learn some more tricks to show u later.:D)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

blah blah blah

huhu... today in class, i slept about 3 hours. luckily there was no lecturer in the evening... huh... our window movie maker assignment will be submitted by tomorrow. thanks God. we have finished it but then got some problem with the burner. i don't know what's the problem. the holiday is just over and we don't have the schedule for today. luckily i have brought my psychology book, cuz en. rusli have class today with us. huh, i dislike the science behavior subject. i don't know what actually he's talking in front. early in the morning we had class with en . fuad, i was so sleepy but amazingly, i managed to copy all his notes. wah... bravo casey. haha! in the evening, after woke up from my hibernation, i went online. ngeee~~ and now here i am, writing my blog, which is actually i'm boring right now, so i just write something in here. =)
we are waiting for big sis to come. she's coming back today.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Love of a Lifetime

Once upon a time there was a teacher and his student lay down under the big tree near the big grass area. Then suddenly the student asked the teacher,

Student : Teacher, I'm confused how we find our soul mate. Can you please help me?
Teacher : "Silent for few second, than he answer" Well, it's pretty hard and easy question..
Student : "THINK HARD" Ha???
Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.
Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... "Walk straight ahead to the grass field"

A few minutes later...
Student : I'm back..

Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.
Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up. But I didn't realize that I'm in the end of the field, and I hadn't pick any. Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn't go back.
Teacher : That's what happened in real life.

What is the message of this story?

* Grass --> is people around you
* Beautiful Grass --> is people that attract you
* Grass Field --> is time

In looking for your soul mate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember "Time Never Goes Back".... So try to accept what he/she is.

what???

it's already 6.25 in the morning and i still awake. uh gosh i really need some sleep. i guess im gonna wake up late today. definitely not maybe. ha ha ha! im really piss off because i tried to upload my pics just now (only 5 pics!) but the internet line makes me sick! huh! im thinking what am i going to do today. holiday is over and im unhappy bout that. im missing someone but i can't say it. grrr... i need a therapist please!!!! uh... *yawning*.... i need to get my sleep now. it's really time to take a nap! g'niteeee everyone~~

xoxo

~i miss my friends~








i miss all of my friends... i can't say how much i wanna see them again, especially those that i rarely see everyday... without u guys i don't what will i become right now... thanks for all of ur supports and cares up until now. huh... can't wait to see all of u again... and i'm also still looking for my long lost friends out there, whom i'm not sure whether they still remember me or not. but i really hope i can meet them someday and share with them the beauty of our own lives...

but i know that all of us right now are busy with studies, works, and many things other than that. but i do hope that our friendship will be last till the eternity. =) nothing can separate us, even though we are far from each other but deep inside our hearts we still remember each other and yeah, all of u ever crossing in my mind. (,") things may be change as time goes by, but our friendship will never have an ending. it's like a circle, u could never see it's end.

(p/s: still uploading. more pics will come soon :D )

gosh...

i can't sleep. this such long and boring holiday already turn my sleeping time up side down. uh... and i didn't even open any of my notes to read. not even our movie maker is finish. everything will be in a rush after this, i know it. but i can't help myself from on-lining everyday till midnight. woahhh... and i wake up approximately 12pm every day (am i using the right word in my sentence here?). *sigh*... i feel my body become weak because of too much spending time on my bed, eating maggie, drinking coffee (hey what is unhealthy about drinking coffee anyway?), and luckily in these 2 days ago me n jet went to hospital to go eat. at least can get hit by the sunlight la. huhu... by the way, i miss my hometown. i miss sabah. i miss everything over there. yaikss... only this May i can return to homeland again. and before that time come, i have to struggle with my exam... alalala... really hard but i'll try my best in it. if others can did it very well, why not me? why not u? hehe... it doesn't matter hard or easy the subject is, u have to try it with all ur might. aduss... what am i talking... i think i'm going to get coffee some more... arghh... >_<

oww, i wanna check out something. gotta go. =.='

Sunday, March 07, 2010

hmm??

actually i have another acc for my blog. but it's ok. i think i can start to write here from now. hehe. i would like to apologies to my dear friend Siti Khairiah for making her waiting for me to write something in here. well ontel, i really don't know what to share coz my life seems so boring nowadays. wish i could go back to times where we were still together in matrix. hehe. now am having my mid sem holiday, and im stuck in my hostel room. gosh. wish i can do something for fun. i wanna go out but now in time of saving my money. lama lg oww elaun next month. btw, am currently studying in KSKB Sg. Buloh, taking my Environmental Health Diploma. i guess i have to learn to love my future's job from now. it's really hard for me to do something that i don't love but i hope things will change soon. hehehe.